love and some verses

11 weeks

Today is Thursday, April 15,

and I am a little over eleven weeks pregnant.

Thinking back about two months ago,

I didn't dream of being pregnant.

At least not for a few years,

after all we had our three year plan.

Since Chris is in the army, and we are

stationed in Fairbanks, AK we figured

waiting until we moved back home to start

a family would be the most logical thing. [:

well, God had other plans in mind.

As I mentioned, two months ago I did not know

that I was pregnant. However,

I also knew that something was not right.

I had been extremely sick for about a week or a week

and a half, and my side had been killing me.

I called my mom, of course, and she said

it could be an ectopic pregnancy.

Well, I had taken a pregnancy test a few days prior,

and it was negative, so I figured I was in the clear.

The problem was I had taken it about a week too early,

sooo a few days after my phone call to my mom,

I took another test.

I waited around patiently to read "not pregnant"

to my surprise, the test was missing the word "not."

I was not about to believe just one test,

so I ran and grabbed a second one.

I started chugging water, and then decided

I didn't want to wait, so I hurried and did a second test.

This time I was frantically waiting.

And literally yelling, "OH MY GOSH"

the whole three minutes it took to process.

This test also read "pregnant"

I have probably never cried so hard in my life.

I was hyperventilating and shaking.

When I was a little girl, I had always

imagined that finding out I was pregnant

would be as exciting as my marriage proposal.

But for some reason, I was filled with fear,

doubt, and disbelief.

I immediately thought of all of the dreams and

ambitions I had been planning out for myself,

and I realized that my life was about to take a huge change.

I remember sitting on the bathroom floor asking God,

"Why right NOW?" I never felt more unprepared

for anything in my entire life.

I was scared that Chris would be upset,

and I had to wait until he got home from work to tell him,

because I knew I had to tell him in person.

When Chris got home I immediately told him,

and without blinking an eye, he hugged me and said,

"We can do this."

I never want my child to feel unwanted.

Even though its mommy and daddy

weren't anticipating a new addition this early,

we could not be more excited.

We consider him or her to be an absolute

gift from God. [: